Oh God! I really love this topic. Been thinking of seeing an IC concerning my mother and her absolute refusal to respect boundaries. She is really not well, mentally, I'd like to keep a relationship with her and our children but...
I now let her know that if she decides to clean our house or rearrange things she has to leave. She still flips out though. I'm "too controlling" "she is only being helpful" "why am I behaving badly" "it was such a small thing why make a big deal", etc. She cries, lies, pitches a fit and then acts as if I am the jerk. I let her know as soon as she would like to visit that no cleaning or rearranging is allowed in my house- she is only there it visit the grandkids. I will leave some clean clothes out to fold and that is the only thing she is allowed to do. She still gets nutty and proclaims that she is not here to play with the grandkids but to clean so I then have to ask her to politely leave. Which she refuses- it can get ugly.
I really don't know how to handle her anymore. It get's bad- she frequently tries to override my decisions with the kids too. Let take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese today. "No, mom they went last week we are not going there". Then goes to the kids a few minutes later- "How about Chuck E. Cheese?" How the heck can you deal with a person who behaves in that manner.
Total hijack, sorry. But I really could use some insight. Promise I will not turn this thread into my thread. Just needing pointers.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
