Augtan,

You have the advantage with your H in that he fell in love with you and married you and had kids with you.

Who was the woman he fell in love with? How are you different now? Are you the woman you want to be?

We get caught up in the minutia of daily living esp when we have kids. what was he attracted to when you were dating?

Doing this kind of work is how you make yourself more confident and that in itself is more attractive.

Is this what you were asking for?