I think you should leave ex and son to work out their own R. Don't encourage or discourage --- just stay out of it. Because, you might be the one blamed for things you have no control over. So, don't phone him about son. If he and son want to keep in contact, they will find a way. All you can do, is monitor things in case you need to protect son in some way.
Just my opinion. I mean, really, he's scared to go to a match because he may face your family? So, he knows he did you wrong, but he's too much of a coward to face the consequences --- nice example he's giving your son on how to be a man.
I'm sorry, but your ex is one of those I really don't hold out much hope. He may D his wife, then try and come crawling back to you with some sad story. He had his fun with his wife, spending all his money that his father worked hard for. A woman he hardly knows while you and he have been together for so long, and have a child together.
I am so happy that you have found your own life --- keep it that way.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
BeingMe, I hear you too my friend and thanks for your reply, yes I agree with you wholeheartedly on every aspect of your post. I dont phone ex unless its to let him know son isnt going to rugby or something on those lines, I wait until he texts or phones me, I told him I wont get in touch with him as I dont want it causing trouble between him and wifey, I wish son and his dad well and only hope it improves. Yes ex is a true coward, for not wanting to face his old inlaws and for not facing up to what hes done from the onset. It is all still so sad and I do feel sorry for ex, but for me as I have said I WOULDNT be able to take him back, but will be here as a friend should he ever need one, I also would love him to break up with her before our old house sells or gets repossessed, just so that he hasnt come out of all this mess with nothing and her having taken everything off him and I mean every last morsel. Oh well life goes on, he didnt want me to be part of it, I have to look after me now and son of course, xxx
M My xh is the same he may inwardly see the damage he created on the outside, he continues to rumble thru like a reckless tornado he spent everything he had he has nothing except a 28 year old wife with cosmetic enhancements and a lot of debt that is very sad how could anyone face that peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Peace I hear you too thanks for your reply. Was only thinking last night this mlc sure does have its script. EX's auntie as disclosed to me many things, that maybe she shouldnt but she does anyway, one was the fight mentioned earlier about when wifey phoned to say they were splitting up, the second she as told me the debt is mounting up and she actually knows that a few months ago they were in 15k debt on the credit cards, she also revealed that ex had been up to her house on another occasion when him and skank had been falling out. I have told his auntie that when and if it hits him and he as the balls to get out that she will need to be there for him as I think it is to auntie he will turn, lets just hope she lives long enough to welcome him, poor poor soul when is he going to wake up and deal with what he as done, it cant be far off. take care folks Im off out on the beer again this weekend, mmmmm
I have thought my xh would hit bottom after all this time and all the damage but I wonder has he? I dont think so your xh is about 1 year ahead of mine when it all hits the fam, if it ever really does? maybe he will go to his aunt I wonder can and will tthese men ever really face what they have done and grow up Im not sure..I can only speak for my xh who I see is liek a basket case Im not sure he will see the end of the crises. will some mlcers reamain in the adolescence forever peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Peace I agree with what you are saying, I see no end really in my ex's case, alright he as fall outs with wifey and goes running to auntie, and I have to say he never did that whilst with me, but auntie says he doesnt seem to be troubled by the situation he is in, ie. no job, no money, no car debts mounting up. I think if anything it will be wifey that eventually pulls the plug when she as got him into plenty of debt, and this is because this as what she as done to the men in her life before, takes them in milks them up to neck in debt then out they go while she moves onto the next, we can only hope for his own sake that ex wakes up before he gets that far into debt there is no recovery, after all he as done to us I dont want to see this man doing anything like ending his life just because he as lost everything and everybody, yeah I still care about the guy deep down and wouldnt want him to do anything to himself, but even his auntie fears this, as he is exactly the total opposite of what he was and would of never got into this situation, we can only pray and hope for the guy
so the saga continues, son is doing a weeks work experience this week, ex is driving him there and back, so he contacted me yesterday regards this, and so the conversation went well we talked yet again like old times, albeit for the wifey in the background butting in with her two cents worth. I was a bit disgruntled but didnt let on due to the fact that ex had phoned son before he phoned me to ask if he would like to go down for dinner, son refused, he then told me that son is more than welcome to stay at theirs on the nights I go out for a beverage, I changed the subject as I know son still is very adamant about not seeing wifey, oh lord how I hope and pray that ex is not stupid enough to start pushing wifey onto son again as this will en their new reformed frindship once and for all
ex just doesnt seem to want to understand that son still doesnt want to welcome wifey with opened arms, we will see on that one, for now I just keep the peace. Also auntie phoned me and wifey had phoned her for her shopping list as they do aunties shopping, whilst on the phone she commented to auntie how well myself and ex are getting along, maybe she is seeing I am not the woman from hell he made me out to be, she also disclosed that they do not go out now and she feels like a recluse, this is due to having no money and also told auntie that they wouldnt be buying xmas presents this year as they are totally broke, oh what a shame after all the money ex had it is sad to see that they are now having to live like I did, ie not knowing where the next sandwhich was coming from, I think there is more on the horizon very shortly, this we can only pray for
Mandy, I don't know what you are hoping for here, I kinda think you are waiting around for him to fall on his arse so you can be there for him...... If that is your desire, I cannot understand that, given how he has done you and your son. With that being said, your XH might very well fall on his arse, but its been my experience that those people would rather die a slow and painful death before they would admit doing wrong. It takes an extra special person to be able to do that. My advice to you is to move on with your life, let your son and him work their own relationship out and let whatever happen, happen.
