Who is this person?

[Day by Day]

Hard to take my own advice. On someone else's thread I say we'll get through it day by day or hour by hour, but it's so hard. I know part of my prob is that I'm not sleeping much lately and that's due to H visiting the kids the past two days. S got a strong stomach ache and both kids get moody. I understand them, it's just an upheaval in the atmosphere because they see him again. Then I get sensitive because of lack of sleep and forgetting to take my ADs.

My bailing on the joint session (I won't call it MC because that's not H's intent) is gnawing on me now since D told me. Getting through this 3rd week of NC is painful. I know I'm not to look for a reaction from him, but for him to not even care boggles my mind. I really should avoid hearing anything from the kids about what he says. I'm all confused and wondering whether to try the C again esp since he mentioned it. But I would like to hear him suggest it. Then I'd feel we'd get somewhere.

IC counseling in the morning. I feel like quitting, to stop reading the self help books, etc. I hope I feel better tomorrow. Ugh, it almost is tomorrow.