Hi, I looked at Newport News. They are more $$, and I do not trust myself with credit cards! I've done enough damage that I am still paying for.
I feel pissy... so so pissy. I came home from work, h was on the couch. we chit chatted briefly. he said work sucked and that it was a long story. I get ready to go to vball. He asks where i am going as he has forgotten it's thursday. i ask what's up for the weekend and if he is going out with the guys or if we are going to dinner w/other couple. he hasn't talked to couple and says he doesn't have plans w/guys. (sunday after bike ride he said he'd call friend about weekend.) so, he asked what i was doing. i mustered up some strength and told him that i was waiting to hear about other couple, but since that's not happening then i will be going out with gf on saturday.
he looks solemn. he says he is tired. i go, have fun, come back, he is sleeping. we talk for a few more. i ask if he wants to talk about work. he says the good thing is that he is taking off the monday before and friday after xmas. OK, WTF??? he'll be off sun-fri. i asked what he was going to do with himself and he shrugged. i have to work. i did ask for xmas eve off but don't know if i'll get it off or not. but, i thought when he was talking about vaca a month or so ago that he mentioned "we." ??? so, i feel hurt, don't say anything, he's acting more tired, so i go take a shower and go straighten my room a little.
he goes to bed, i go to kiss him, he says nothing. ok, so he's dead. (that's what you get when you stay out til 1:45 and have to work at 7). ok, pissy, pissy. i'm tired of getting the leftovers and i want to feel like I and our m are priorities in his life.
we don't have a plan for tomorrow night. i'm sure that i'll have to come up with something. i feel like going away. i don't feel like this is going anywhere. ok, so it's been 4 1/2 weeks and we're getting along better...how much longer do i have to wait for ily or i care about you, or i miss you or i appreciate you???
i'm sure that acting grumpy will not get me anywhere. i didn't act grumpy, just went about my own thing. but, i'm not acting cheerful either. i already laid on him a couple times to kiss and hug him on the couch. but, i am chopped liver. how do i not care when i care? i know, that's the million $ question around here.
so, he asked what i was doing. i mustered up some strength and told him that i was waiting to hear about other couple, but since that's not happening then i will be going out with gf on saturday.
he looks solemn. he says he is tired.
Could you have handled this differently? Try asking for what you want in these sitches....you could have asked him if you could do something together....or you could have asked him if he wanted you to contact the other couple and make dinner plans...
we don't have a plan for tomorrow night. i'm sure that i'll have to come up with something. i feel like going away.
Ok, so if you feeling like going away...why not make plans for two of you to go away someplace together where you can go biking or hiking?
i don't feel like this is going anywhere. ok, so it's been 4 1/2 weeks and we're getting along better...how much longer do i have to wait for ily or i care about you, or i miss you or i appreciate you???
You ARE getting along better...PATIENCE....he's there, he's doing more with you...that says he cares and loves you, just not verbally...it says it in actions.
i'm sure that acting grumpy will not get me anywhere. i didn't act grumpy, just went about my own thing. but, i'm not acting cheerful either. i already laid on him a couple times to kiss and hug him on the couch. but, i am chopped liver. how do i not care when i care? i know, that's the million $ question around here.
You can care...but ACT AS IF everything is ok....
K, please also remember, it's up to you to make yourself happy...don't look to him for happiness....he can't make YOU happy....Once you really begin to internalize that..the rest will follow...
You are growing by leaps and bounds. You are working on yourself and on your R. You are making great changes. Go out and get even busier, girl. Go do things for you and enjoy them...don't just do them to show him that you can...do them cause you want to do them. Go cut loose with a gal pal and just have fun! Go walk on a beach at a lake or go on a hike...go to the library...whatever floats your boat...find some activity that truly makes you feel good and pursue that...not him.
Hope your mood is better today. It is Friday! I like Fridays so much better than Mondays.
I like Alaska's suggestion. I think I communicate the same way you and h did.
I want one thing but am hesitant or afraid to ask for it so come up with something totatlly different that in the end is not what maybe either of us really wanted.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Well, firstly, this couple is his friends and I don't want to "mother" him by asking if he wants me call them. He's a big boy and they have been talking about it for a few weeks now. That H wasn't too concerned about going out with the guys was a good thing.
I just don't get the xmas vaca thing. He only works 4 days a week, so he only gets 4 days off for the whole year, and he is choosing days that I have to work. Ok, so maybe his primary concern is getting away from work and we all know how stressful xmas can be & he probably wouldn't make that much money that week anyway. (flat rate mechanic). But, why don't I fit in the pic.? WEll, I get 17 days off a year, so maybe he's just thinking that it's easier for me to get off when he is off like Tues/Wed...
His anniv. is in Feb. and we talked about going to Vegas next year. haven't brought it up-thought I'd wait til things are better.
I'm trying not to be pushy/have expectations. (So, I'm failing at the expectations part.) He was so tired, I knew trying to get excited about going to see a band tonight, or going to the winery or whatever was going to be adifficult task. I figured I'd wait until today to come up with a plan.
We can't go anywhere tonight to stay b/c he works sat. 9-2. then he has practice 3-5:30. sunday he'll probably play race cars in the basement.
YES,YES,YES,I need to make myself happy. I want to ski, go out dancin', take my dogs to the park, fly my house, etc. many things to do. Oh, & in bad weather start scrapbooking with friends/mil... will work on these things. guess i feel bad b/c i want something fun for h & me to do together, but then again, i think if he wants to be a poophead while he's around me, then I need to go have fun w/o him.
been going in a downward spiral the last couple of days. gotta come back up.
Pam-a couple of my closest friends ditched me too. Not for reasons like yours, but i think basically, I was too emo for them and they didn't have the guts to tell me to shut up. Hmmmph...you guys would, wouldn't you?? My sis also ditched me b/c she became a realtor around the time h & I bought house. h & I were engaged for 6 weeks, so since i was doing the wed. stuff, he was doing house stuff, so he wanted to work with his friend. now, sis talks to him a little, bil won't talk to him at all and tells nephew not to call him uncle t, but just t. !! I said, no, neph, you have an uncle t who loves youvery much!
have a one-on-one w/boss at 11. my goal=not to get emo!! I'm very angry/concerned/frustrated and need to come off diplomatically.
Hi, how's everybody doing? my work sitch really stinks right now. I keep going back and forth about wanting to look for a new job. Well, I'd like a new job, I just don't want to have to look.
haven't talked to h yet. I usually try to come up with 1-3 ideas of what to do and see if any appeal to him. If not, then i say that it's his turn to name ideas. (in a nice/joking way-not offensive.) eventually we agree on something.
alright, I gotta act as if at home AND at work. At least i can take a break from work for 2 days. home...i guess i feel somewhat better. i was having serious bouts of impatience...
