It is good to have someone who understands. If you read the whole sitch, it is crazy, and i will try to read yours when I have more time. Right now I am busy trying to get S to sleep. With H leaving again, S is not willing to sleep in his own bed again.
I am very worried about my S. I am worried about what he is learning by this. I want him to have a good relationship as he gets older and I am scared he is learning that it is ok to just leave your family whenever you want. H and I have talked about it and he has said that is why he has not seen him much because he does not want S to turn into him. He doesn't want to be a bad influence. The only good thing is although he told me the last separation was for him to figure out what he wanted, he didn't do that. He figured out on his own last weekend that the whole time he was gone he was just doing whatever OW wanted and never figured out anything about himself. He said he needs to start seeing a counselor and get some help. I don't think he is depressed, although I think he was for a little bit after he left. I more think he is going through a midlife crisis and some of the stuff is things he has done the whole time we have been together. Online stuff with women, then having EAs while we were dating and engaged, and finally this last one. He says he doesn't know why he does it and needs help to stop. Plus he hates that he is 27 and tells everyone he is 25. Not good. Hopefully he will follow through this time. He has said numerous times these past two days that he does not want to be gone long and htat he really is just gone to read DR and another book then come back. He wants us to work he keeps saying. This is a huge step. He even made plans with us for tomorrow and has been giving me hugs when he leaves which is a first.
I am scared, but goign to keep doing what makes me happy. Even holding his hand, telling him I love him (not all the time, but once in a while), giving him hugs, and he is returning them more and more. It is really working (for the two days I have done it). Hopefully it will get better and better.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
