He has mentioned that she gives him false hope, that she treats him like a doormat, he has been too nice to her, she has crossed over every boundary with him, the aggressive approach is something he hasn't tried and is something she expects he will never try because she knows he doesn't have the courage to do it.
Whenever you are dealing with a cheating spouse, you can't communicate to them in a kind & thoughtful manner, you just reinforce their decision that they originally made, ie. he isn't the man for me, he is ok with me seeing this OM, he's not willing to put his foot down with me and hold me accountable for my actions, he's not strong enough to do it.
He needs to communicate that.
None of what I said has him yelling or arguing or swearing or being aggressive.
Quite the opposite, it's the quiet strength he will be displaying.
He won't be using words anymore, he will use actions & body language to communicate with his wayward wife which is far more powerful than any words he's used thus far.
He would be doing the opposite of what he's done so far with his wife.
Just my 0.02 cents, good luck either way.
If you don't ever communicate to the WAS that you won't tolerate their actions & behavior, if you won't leave them if they are hurting you & the relationship that they have with you, how are they ever going to change what they're doing? What else would require them to change, human nature dictates that most people will only change what they're doing when they're forced to change - if you just ask them, they won't - why would they have to, what consequences are there for non-action?
