K, You've posted a lot on my thread and I've been following yours, but haven't felt like I could contribute much before. I guess I still don't have a lot to contribute, but I wanted to encourage you a little.
I think that this need to take care of yourself and forget about him is wonderful. That has kinda hit me in the last day or two, also, and it has really made me feel relieved. So, take care of you for now.
My H and I don't dress up to go out either. We usually both wear jeans, but I like to wear a nice, sometimes sexy, top. Buy yourself some really nice dress pants and a nice new top to go with them if you can afford it. If you can't afford both, then use a simple top that you already have that won't distract from the nice pants. Go for classy! Next time you and H go out, don't worry about where you're going, just put on your new outfit and feel good about you. Let him worry about what he wears. Don't obsess about whether or not he is dressing up more or less to be with you. Just let him be comfortable. You on the other hand will look good enough to make heads turn and I'm sure he'll notice! Oh, and if you're not going out with H but you go out with friends by yourself, wear the outfit and look good and feel good.
I think it is very positive that he is wearing his wedding band. My H took his off several weeks ago because, he said, it was irritating his finger because it doesn't fit right anymore since he lost some weight and it was spinning around. I said something one time and he got kinda huffy so I told him not to worry about it. It does bother me some, but my thoughts were that he wore it the whole time he was in A with OW so does the ring really make a difference? Anyway, it is nice that your H is wearing his, but don't make a big deal out of it. It is what is in his heart that matters most, not what is on his finger and from everything I've read, your H loves you. He's still at home and he still makes love to you.
I hope all goes well with your job and things improve for you there. Hang in there, K. You're a wonderful, caring person.
And on a lighter note, if you become a designer, please remember all of us who are under 5'5" and over 30 years old and who don't have a middle age spread. We'd really appreciate it if it was easier to find pants that didn't have the crotch to the knees and/or the waist to the boobs!! Can you help with that, please???
