Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Karen, I don't even know where to start. Yes, I do think my confidence is coming around again: feel myself projecting a postive appearance and voicing myself a bit more lately. Can't really put my finger on it and why or how.

I don't know, today for some reason I've been really grumpy and edgey. So, wisken in the land of wild mood swings it is I guess. Maybe it's just the whole shrink thing today, started off looking forward to it, but now, I'm not looking forward to having my head all torn apart and then "oops, times up, we'll figure out where all this stuff goes backin there later on." That really pised me off last week, finally started getting somewhere and bam, you're done for today, now serving number 69.

"Move forward". I'd love that. I'm moving, not sure what direction, but moving none the less. No, life in limbo is not the way to go. I have and still believe reconciling is not in the cards. Too much damage and I seriously don't think XW would give half an inlcinging to undoing everything she's done now. If it was too much work when things were in their infancy, they certainly are way too much work now. Then, as said in another thread on the subject of sex, well, that ain't gonna be happeneing for a long time, and that won't fly with her, that's for sure.

So GAL, yeah, I'm doing what I can. Dating, honestly at this point I could care less. Not because XW or the D, but, just not interested at the moment. I don't need another persons games. Sure, the companionship is nice, but if it's companionship I REALLY want, I'll get a dog. [EDIT - And at least the dog will remain loyal]