Detachment

[antlers]

25,
I'm gonna miss your posts while you're off the boards. I have to stay the course...I've got no other choice. Nope, one munute she's one way and the next minute she's another way! She seems resolute, and I've got to go that route also.

I think the way you do, that love is a choice. So our cognitive processes can help us in these matters, to a larger degree than we think? I don't want to hang on to any false hope. This divorce is going to happen. I wish things were different, but they're not. I DB'd my butt off, and did everything in my power...hoping I'd get a chance. I don't.

I have done everything that I've said on these boards, but I don't think she cares at all, and she doesn't respect me. I became the man that she wanted me to be all these years, but it didn't matter to her. I love all 3 of our kids, and she knows that...doesn't matter to her. She badmouths me to all 3 of them. No, the kids are confused and don't know what to do with all of their thoughts and emotions.

I'll start doing that more. She lives with her mom. She told me the other night that I was her 'dad', regardless. I make sure she knows that she is just as much mine as the little kids are, and that I love her just as much. I do what you say, but I'll put forth more effort to do it even more.

I can't stop her from divorcing me, but I'm not gonna 'help' her divorce me. My attorney said after looking at the original papers that I was served with, that she could tell that W thought it was going to be simple and uncomplicated.

I do support my kids as best I can. Have been ever since W left last February. The kids live in a safe neighborhood when they're with W, and they haven't lacked for anything.

The kids, in our situation, don't and haven't suffered financially at all.

I know you're expalining it, but it isn't 'just' to not take particular situations into consideration.

Things will continue to be as 'stable' as they have been since last February. Same homes, neighborhoods, and schools.

I plan to continue on my journey of personal growth. Income is a different matter...they quit giving us raises at work because of the economy. I hope you're right about seeing good things for me around the corner. I appreciate the compliments, and I'll hope for the best too. I've read here that 'forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself.' Lots of emotions right now...I'm still working on forgiving myself fully.

No, we don't. That doesn't excuse mean, rude, uncaring behavior. I had my own inner demons, and that didn't excuse the way that I acted for so long.

I agree with what you're saying here about being happy. Don't know about any second thoughts from her though. Hard to imagine she'd have any.

That's exactly what I want to do...move on to protect myself and love my kids as best I can.

I'll miss ya' while your gone.