It's easy in hindsight to think, "Well, hell, why didn't I just *speak up years earlier*?????"
But if you're hearing things like, "Oh, well guess I'm just crap in bed too, then, sorry I'm such a disappointment to you etc etc etc" ... the effect is not inconsiderable. People who DO love their mates and don't have enough life experience to see that kind of pushback for what it is tend to take it at face value and stop pushing their own agenda because they don't want to feel responsible for/intensify their partner's self-doubt and self-loathing. Stalemate.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
