I couldn't stay out late. I was so tired that I wanted to just come home and go to bed. Well, I come home and analyze what shoes h wore, did he wear ring?, did he gel hair? and it dawns on me that he wore his new dockers. Ok, Ok, tell me I'm crazy, but I swear that he dresses NICER when he goes out w/o me. Granted, I usually wear jeans when we go out. I don't have many clothes that aren't jeans. I have a hard time finding pants b/c I am a size 8 and I need at least a 33" inseam! So, nice pants are expensive.
So, I could either dress up more myself w/o him, or w/him (and find SoME dress pants somehow/somewhere.) Or I can I don't know, NOT be mad about this??? We've talked about it before, and he denies it. BUT, in due time, will he put more effort into wanting to look good with me? Not that he doesn't look good with me, but WHY does he put MORE effort into when he is not with me? Like, he NEVER forgets cologne when he goes out with the guys, but sometimes he does with me. And he doesn't always tuck his shirt in, let alone iron one, or wear a belt, etc. etc. w/me, and he does with them. For them? My friend at work suggested that he is in competition with the other guys, but not with me. Does he want me to worry?? He did wear his ring, but i don't know about the gel.
Is this part of his "not putting his best foot forward" with me b/c I stomp on it? My C suggested that he associates dressing up with getting in fights w/me b/c of the upsets when we have gone out at times.
Me CRAZY!!
I think he went to the pub that I was talking about before w/his friend that lives south of here. He said they were "going out for dinner and a couple beers." Maybe his friend always dresses up. He has money.
I want reassurance. I want H to tell me that he loves me. Why aren't I worth it?
