Thank you, Lotus. I have been told this by - well, everybody. Time for me to believe it and stop being bullied.
I had a great talk with a woman today who is going through a similar sitch - and she put her foot down early on. She told her H that he has to do fifty percent of the changes or the marriage is over.
I have been under the impression that for DB to work, I have to do one hundred percent of the changes. But I see how I act like a silly doormat by basically taking all the blame for our issues and promising to do anything to save the marriage. I thought this was under the catagory of personal responsibility, but I have instead allowed him to continue his illusion that he has no emotional responsibility for the problems in our marriage.
Now I have to stick to it. I have to be ready to walk for good if he doesn't admit changes he needs to make.
