Pup-I'm already praying. smile So, if he says what did he say, should I leave out where he works? I don't think he will ask specifics, he will leave it up to me.

Kett- I'm wanting to tell him that piece....but again, I'm thinking of my H. He would rather not know, but I should tell him anyway because it is information that OM told me when he contacted me and that is what my H wants to know?

DQ- Yes, we have had many, many, many sex discussions our whole marriage. The discussions ended with him saying he didn't know why he wasn't able to show that kind of love, to discussion upon discussion of his screwed up childhood, to what could I do to attract him (he finally gave me a couple things which I did and they didn't do anything to change our sex life), to the fact that he loves me and can't I see that with the way he shows me (by doing things for me), to "we need to stop talking about it, it is making it worse". And, that is where I stepped back. Sex is not everything, but yes I need it to feel like I am more than just a close friend. I need that connection.

Right. I cannot do my H's part. He must do this himself. He does understand the importance but has not followed through on doing anything. He wants it to change, but doesn't do anything to fix it. You said "full on therapy"....any advice on where to go, who to look for. We have had a really bad experience with therapists so I need some help there.

You're with me on the real issue here. Help me if you can.

I don't know if I could say that I will leave if the sex never improves. He is reading a book ( he actually says he is reading it a second time) to help so there is some effort there. If I say that I'd leave that would put pressure on him and he will shut down unconsciously, I believe.