OK, and he when he asks what he said do I go into that? I don't tell him where he works, correct?
Why not?
I mean, I understand why that might be difficult and maybe painful and disconcerting for both of you. And I get that it probably feels like you are bringing back the pain up into the forefront of everyone's attention and inflicting it all over again. (Which is NOT the case when examined rationally; you didn't initiate contact; OM did.)
But to me, that doesn't make it the wrong choice. From my perspective, your goal is to make your husband your absolute partner, your go-to guy who can believe that he has not only your full cooperation but your confidence when it comes to working together to keep the OM *out* of your lives and marriage. The only way to do that in any way that is vaguely real is to TELL him the actual *facts* of the situation.
Your feelings and memories? Subject to your own yearnings and perspectives. Not his burden.
The FACTS that the OM contacted you, and now works three blocks away? Both concrete new factors in the situation. Definitely his business.
IMHO.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
