Listen to Puppy. It's super-hard not obsess or overanalyze. I know...I did it too. Your description of your family day was agonizing and tortured. "She lifted an eyebrow, held her breath and only sang on the chorus of the ABBA songs, is my marriage over?"
Dude...this kind of paranoid hyper-awareness and scrutinty will kill you and smother her. You are suffering from post traumatic stress, or something like that.
Maybe, for now, you need to get her to agree that when she spends time with your daughter, it's on her own, with no OM present. At your current state, the "family days" are killing you. You can re-instate family days when YOU are ready and strong.
Dancing class is great!!! I suggest you add something like boxing or karate to build your warrior strength. DO the NMMNG exercises.
