Given that we are living together and loving the same children and we can't get divorced and given that I am not moving out, what are your ideas on what we can do to make things better. Let's make a plan.
I have learned by experience that you can't solve anyone else's problem for them. Apparently, Mrs. T thinks this is her problem. She doesn't include you in there. As a result, your solutions fall on deaf ears. She needs to be proactive in trying to solve her problem, but she also needs to recognize that it is not solely her problem, that her problem has become your problem because it has grown big. It is about to become the children's problem too if no solutions are found soon.
This is very good. Do this every night and share your feelings. My W and I returned from Retrovaille this past Sunday. She's been very committed to the dialogue process. In fact, my W left today's letter on the counter for me to read b/c she's out of town on business. I for one have been very surprised, but it's through this dialogue process that we can all heal..IMO.
-LFH
ME: 38 W: 35 D2.5 and S5 Married 12 years Separated (same house, different rooms) INILWYAM by W: 4/16/2009 The day W requested a D: 4/17/2009
Mrs. T is definitely NOT committed to the process. She did it because I gave her the question, told her I had written mine, and then gave her the time in the evening (after dinner I said "I'll watch the kids now so you can write your letter").
She didn't violate any of the rules, but also didn't really stretch herself or open up.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Met with my C today. His opinion: he does not see even a glimmer of hope for our M and I should accept it. Staying in the R is not healthy for me.
Just got a txt from Mrs. T "I wont get a chance 2 dialog 2 night. Just letting u know". (Work and a girls night out) Note: she had all day and couldn't find 10 minutes. I wrote my part this morning.
The "girls night out" is being held at our house, so I am taking the opportunity to go out myself. Time to get out of the house.
Last edited by Thinker; 10/20/0909:39 PM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Met with my C today. His opinion: he does not see even a glimmer of hope for our M and I should accept it. Staying in the R is not healthy for me.
Just got a txt from Mrs. T "I wont get a chance 2 dialog 2 night. Just letting u know". (Work and a girls night out) Note: she had all day and couldn't find 10 minutes. I wrote my part this morning.
The "girls night out" is being held at our house, so I am taking the opportunity to go out myself. Time to get out of the house.
Go out, smelling good and looking fine. Come home looped ~~~ kidding! I'm just joking! Seriously, though, go out and do something THINKER likes to do so that way you're coming home with a smile. Come in late.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Just remember it doesn't matter what C says, or she says, or us board people say. It ain't over till Thinker says it's over.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
