Trying to save my M. W not really trying though.

[etrain]

Feeling extra bummed out today. Last night W picked up a children's book to help introduce the concept of seperation & divorce to our S4. We haven't read it to him yet though. And waking up alone for the 2nd morning in a row probably had something to do with it. I caught myself wondering how long it will be before I get to sleep in the same bed w/ a woman again. Could be months. Could be years.
Sad etrain. Need to throw myself into my work to take my mind off things.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I hope you and your wife are discussing ahead of time how you're going to talk to your son, and that you both need to be there, together?

If you start a separate thread, called something like "Dropping the D/S Bomb on Kids," you'll get some good advice.

Puppy

P.S. My wife bought the same books, and visited all the websites. The books are now gathering dust in her old closet.

[dday101798]

ahh, look at it this way:

Sleeping alone, there's no one else to steal the covers from you.

Sleeping alone, there's no-one to drop that dreaded line "my butt's cold, warm me up" and you KNOW, that butt is sub-humanly cold long before you get there.

Sleeping alone: on a lazy Sunday morning you can get up and grab a beer and just lay there and watch a game or something, and not get nagged at.

Sleeping alone: You can lay there and fart all you want and see if it still smells like what you ate last night.

Sleeping alone: You can fling buggers at the ceiling fan when you're really bored while your team is losing, contemplating getting another beer after realising your fart just smells bad on that lazy Sunday morning.

You get the gist

[etrain]

I hope you and your wife are discussing ahead of time how you're going to talk to your son, and that you both need to be there, together?

If you start a separate thread, called something like "Dropping the D/S Bomb on Kids," you'll get some good advice.

Puppy

P.S. My wife bought the same books, and visited all the websites. The books are now gathering dust in her old closet.

We are discussing it ahead of time. We want to make sure we're consistent & have our stories straight.
Maybe I will start that seperate thread.

And I don't think my W's books will have time to gather dust. W already had some of the utilties turned on at her apt & gave me the phone numbers to have some of our house utilities switched over to my name.
My W is leaving me. Could be a week or two from now, but she's leaving me.
Ugh.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

ahh, look at it this way:

Sleeping alone, there's no one else to steal the covers from you.

Sleeping alone, there's no-one to drop that dreaded line "my butt's cold, warm me up" and you KNOW, that butt is sub-humanly cold long before you get there.

Sleeping alone: on a lazy Sunday morning you can get up and grab a beer and just lay there and watch a game or something, and not get nagged at.

Sleeping alone: You can lay there and fart all you want and see if it still smells like what you ate last night.

Sleeping alone: You can fling buggers at the ceiling fan when you're really bored while your team is losing, contemplating getting another beer after realising your fart just smells bad on that lazy Sunday morning.

You get the gist

LMFAO!!! So true!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

And I don't think my W's books will have time to gather dust. W already had some of the utilties turned on at her apt & gave me the phone numbers to have some of our house utilities switched over to my name.
My W is leaving me. Could be a week or two from now, but she's leaving me.
Ugh.

Yes, I do think that it's best that you begin to wrap yourself in the "I'm already dead" cloak that SmileysPerson talks about in his threads. Or Coach with the Stockdale Paradox. But even if she DOES move out, it doesn't mean it's over. More than half of these reconcile, and even the ones that DON'T, and end in divorce, I think the statistic is that 20% of them re-marry.

This is FAR from over, E. It's 3-0 in the third inning, yeah. But we all saw how far that got the Yankees last nite.

[etrain]

Yes, I do think that it's best that you begin to wrap yourself in the "I'm already dead" cloak that SmileysPerson talks about in his threads. Or Coach with the Stockdale Paradox. But even if she DOES move out, it doesn't mean it's over. More than half of these reconcile, and even the ones that DON'T, and end in divorce, I think the statistic is that 20% of them re-marry.

This is FAR from over, E. It's 3-0 in the third inning, yeah. But we all saw how far that got the Yankees last nite.

Hey, I'm a Yankees' fan!
Is that statistic true? Over 1/2 of S couples reconcile? I honestly have always viewed S as a transition stage between M & D.
W is a looker, works at a place with 1200 (many of them single) people, & has always been a very social person. I see her dating up a storm & having a grand old time once she moves out. It's what she wanted.
Or maybe that's the "I'm already dead" cloak talking.

[Hope4us]

Like Puppy said, wrap yourself around the idea that your M is over. It allows you to move forward in strength.

But Puppy is right. It ain't over.

And yes, your W may date all 1200 of those single people because right now she thinks that's what she wants. But in a lot of cases, once she gets out there dating, the shine wears off of that really quick. And if your marriage was at least fairly good prior to this, then your marriage has a chance.

[etrain]

So, as a guy who's about to become seperated, what are the "rules"?

Do I basically act like a single guy, ditch the wedding ring, & start dating?...not that I'm ready to start dating yet.
It's all foreign to me. We're still married but we can date?

[dday101798]

No, act as if.

Act as if you could care less what she does.

Act as if you could care less that your vows are violated.

Act as if you're having a fantastic time without her.

Then, you will. Then you may just get an answer to that ultimate question.

Dating, until you know for sure what it what, could go one way or the other with a repsonse. Too early, not good for you, whome ever you date, and just piss the WAS off. Done correctly, casually and mysteriously, you'll get a pissy reaction out of WAS, but one out of jealousy.