If you are a reader find the book called "Rebuilding" by Bruce Fisher. It describes all the stages you go through in processing a divorce- there are concrete exercises in it to help you get through all that you need to come out whole and healthy.
Realize we all at some point or another have (over)focused on the OP. Its the easy way out. It keeps us spinning and not living or lives, it staves off dealing with the awful pain and hurt we feel by being 'rejected' and having the OP displace us.
Move on. Its NEVER about the OP. If it wasn't that OP it'd be another...its the MLCer taking the easy way out and staving off the uncomfortable feelings and realizations they are having. Its a distraction for them and the less power you give it and the less focus the better.
So pull yourself up and distract yourself from your obsessive thoughts re: your Ex and the OW. Let your Ex live his life he's created and learn what he needs to learn(hopefully) so he can come to his own realization of what he wants(hopefully a more mature and got-it-together you).
And yes, pat yourself on the back for those baby steps and keep them coming!
Last edited by kjensen; 10/20/0901:11 PM.
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
