Well, for those of you following my sitch the last week or so, you know today is the 6 month mark since the bomb. I'm not marking time. Shortly after the bomb, W said she would give me time to show her my changes but would not "wait 6 months."
This morning was a typical morning for us. Both of us are tired (hosted a cocktail party at our house - 5 club sodas and lime for me - pretty wild!!!). Last night, W thanked me for all my help in getting the house ready.
Was not able to work in any hand holding this weekend - hard to do when you are cleaning most of the time. But, last night, after the guests had left, we were sitting in the den, and our feet touched (we share an ottoman)- she didn't pull her's away. Not sure if she even realized they were touching - she had some slipper tyoe things on.
Will just keep plowing ahead.
And our anniversary is one week from today. Need to line up dinner and a sitter for this weekend.
Well, yesterday (6 month mark since bomb) came and went with nothing unusual...Which is a good thing. Now, I can put that milestone (to the extent it was) behind me and keep forging ahead. While the 6 month mark was simply another day, in a way, it could be validation that she isn't running away. But, in any case, it doesn't change my plan.
Anniversary in 6 days now. At Coach's suggestion, I think I am going to buy W something for her cake decorating interest. I am going to try to get a message to her cake decorating class teacher about what W could really use. Need to make reservations and line up sitter.
At Coach's suggestion, I think I am going to buy W something for her cake decorating interest. I am going to try to get a message to her cake decorating class teacher about what W could really use. Need to make reservations and line up sitter.
thinking out loud.......
The cake gift is good no pre-concieved notions. How about in a card write, "You know you can make the cake and eat it too. Too my favorite dish, GIMA." Something flirty but keep the pressure off. Do your wordsmithing on it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
At Coach's suggestion, I think I am going to buy W something for her cake decorating interest. I am going to try to get a message to her cake decorating class teacher about what W could really use. Need to make reservations and line up sitter.
thinking out loud.......
The cake gift is good no pre-concieved notions. How about in a card write, "You know you can make the cake and eat it too. Too my favorite dish, GIMA." Something flirty but keep the pressure off. Do your wordsmithing on it.
Cheers
I like it, but I seriously doubt she'll get the message about the cake eating. But, it's funny.
Good evening. W was chatty, despite being pretty tired. We both are for that matter. Made W some tea along with the cup I made myself tonight.
Trying to line up a sitter and dinner reservations for us for our anniversary (on Monday, but will probably do dinner on sat or sun).
Despite the day going well, I can't help but feel we are stuck or at a stalemate. It's almost as if we are both afraid to be the first one to take the next step. Or are we taking that next step now?
Part of me keeps asking what W is waiting for? I know, that's a bit egotistical. But, it's how I feel.
Thanks for your reply and encouragement on my thread. I appreciate it.
Retrouvaille may just what you need to end the stalemate. I think it did help out my situation quite a bit. My wife was able to communicate her emotions and feelings to me for the first time in years...it's a start us...it broke our stalemate. In your situation, you guys are already communicating and interacting nicely. I saw several couples hugging, kissing, and holding hands by Sunday afternoon. I see that happening to you guys.
-LFH
ME: 38 W: 35 D2.5 and S5 Married 12 years Separated (same house, different rooms) INILWYAM by W: 4/16/2009 The day W requested a D: 4/17/2009
Thanks for your reply and encouragement on my thread. I appreciate it.
Retrouvaille may just what you need to end the stalemate. I think it did help out my situation quite a bit. My wife was able to communicate her emotions and feelings to me for the first time in years...it's a start us...it broke our stalemate. In your situation, you guys are already communicating and interacting nicely. I saw several couples hugging, kissing, and holding hands by Sunday afternoon. I see that happening to you guys.
-LFH
Thanks. I feel like we are either side of a fence and neither has enough guts to jump over. I think I do, but don't want to undo what I've been able to do so far. Would be a whole lot better for her to jump first.
The baking supplies sound like a really good idea! Asking the teacher of the baking class is probably a really safe way to go for a recommendation. Other possible ideas might include:
--a very nice glass pedestal cake plate (depending on your W's taste you could buy traditional Wedgwood china, Waterford crystal, or funkier Venetian glass) --an out of town trip to a baking class somewhere nice like New Orleans. She might see it as a chance to get away from childcare and have some "me" time??
The second idea may be too much, but I'm throwing it out there for consideration.
Finally, what I think would be a REALLY nice touch.....something that would REALLY surprise her....would be to include as a separate gift box a selection of small quantities of several unique spices and flavorings that a baker might use. I'm thinking vanilla beans, stick cinnamon (there are several types), real vanilla extract (there are several types), roasted cacao nibs, dried pansies, saffron, lavender sugar........you get the idea. If you go to a really nice cooking store they will have a big selection of these spices and they will give you recommendations about the top sellers. When your W opens the gift you will be able to tell her all about your trip to the store (LL quality time) and how you tasted or smelled each of the spices before making your selections. If you have never done anything like this before I think your W will be REALLY surprised. She will likely smell each as she opens it. The pungent fragrances will add to her enjoyment. Over the next few weeks she will be thinking about what she could bake to use the most unusual or fragrant spices and probably ask you for your feedback about what items you would most enjoy eating.
Those are great ideas. I do think the trip to N.O. would be a bit much right now. But, I love the idea about the box of spices. And where we live, we have several baking specialty stores. I will probably take a half day on Friday or Thursday and get that done.
The babysitter has been lined up for Sunday night. So, tomorrow, I will pick a restaurant and set up reservations.
Thanks. I feel like we are either side of a fence and neither has enough guts to jump over. I think I do, but don't want to undo what I've been able to do so far. Would be a whole lot better for her to jump first.
Only one way out of limboland. You know the answer. How would you handle this if it was a case at work?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
