Quote: I'm feeling upset b/c I feel like once again, his stuff/hobbies/going out with friends are more important than things that pertain to us/the house/our r. He hasn't done anything to the house, but neither have I. It makes me sad to think of where things are and the lack of his ILY's/messages/doing nice things, etc. Essentially, his lack of devotion
So are these things going to get better by you crabbing at him? NO. Being all mad about no room for the pool table but keeping it inside is a bad pattern you need to get out of (I know - I recognize it from myself!) How might things have gone differently if, instead of REACTING to him with this whole emotional undercurrent that if he was more devoted to you he would have given you space for the pool table - instead you had ACTED positively and non-combatively. You could have simply said something like "gee, I don't want to disturb your stuff. But I would really like that pool table too. Can we think of any way to accomplish both things?"
Good things are your H taking a proactive role in these conversations - so reward that and don't belabor him with the idea that all these things upset you. And really, think about it - wouldn't you give up all the basement and garage space if it meant you could have him completely back in your life? I think you are deflecting you anger/anxiety onto these rather unimportant issues. Don't go there.
If the Man show scares you - well, so should every magazine ad and beer commercial! But why not focus on being the "hottest" YOU you can be - if you manage that, you won't be so worried about the TV.
See, I told you staying out later than him was a good idea! Now keep it up - and start being more positive with him about other things.
