Don’t even try to guess where the rock bottom is. It isn’t worth your head space and it won’t be what you think.
My H, thought separation was going to make him happy, he isn’t happy. He thought doing this and that was going to make him happy, guess what, he is still in his pit. He is still searching.
I have see all sorts of stuff that I have thought was rock bottom, just to have him spring back into the things he thinks will fix this.
If you stay in that place too long, you will start to sink and you need to swim. For you, for your S, and believe it or not even for her.
They will do unbelievable, unthinkable things during this time. Things that yes most rational people would see as getting to the bottom. But they are not rational. They are not healthy people and are not affected in the same way. They have this uncanny ability to go up that hill again. Until they can’t anymore.
No one knows how long it will take, if they ever get there.
Just keep living for you and your S. Do not use him as a weapon or a pawn but protect him as best you can. It is really the only thing you can do now.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
