OK start over. Maybe this will help me be more brief! Thanks for the compliments Pam and Debi.

Sat. night I stayed out later than H. Got home soon after him. He said he was surprised that I stayed out that late. I asked why? He said because it is "not like you." I said, "I would stay out late with you." (feeling snappish-like he's always tired when he is out w/me, but stays out late all the time w/the guys). We exchanged how our nights went and he initiated .

Sunday we went to breakfast w/his parents and went back home and took a nap. Later went to dinner at my cousin's.
I was feeling anxious at my cousin's because we were watching a movie on the comedy channel and they were showing ads for the Man Show. H thinks this show is really funny and laughed at the ads. (He also laffed at South Park commercials, and others...) But, the Man Show scares me b/c they make such sexist jokes and have the Juggy Girls on there, and always have hot women on there, etc... Feeling insecure, like I don't measure up.

Later, we get home and there is a message from my mother saying that my grandfather's pool table is available from my uncle b/c he doesn't want it anymore. I get excited and tell h. He says there is no room in the basement because of all the support poles and that he's not moving the track b/c he and his friends have lots of $$ invested in it. I am feeling upset/angry/hurt, but I shut my mouth and we go to bed and read.

This morn. he asked if he had said or done something to piss me off. I told him I felt irritated. He said ok. Pause. I can't remember my exact words but I tell him that I don't feel like I have enough space in the house, that our house is a shambles, etc. He says, you have half of the basement and the spare bedroom, what else do you need? I said a garage space. He's been parking his car in it and the other side is mowers, bikes, grill, etc. I also bring up that he just piled my stuff on top of itself in the basement to get out of his way, breaking some things, w/o even warning me. My space is less than half in the basement-he has the major part w/the track and the band room.

So, he says, "what do we need to do to fix this?" I said, well, I've been meaning to put stuff from the garage into the shed, and to either give the junk in the basement to goodwill or sell it on ebay. I say that we dont' have a digital camera and that I could list at my mom's house. He says he's been thinking about buying a dig. camera b/c he wants to sell stuff too. He mentions that the filing cabinet has been in the garage since we moved in. I say that I have asked him 3 times to help me move it and he said no. He asked when the last time i asked was. I say, well, after being told no, i gave up. I'm kind of jumbling this up since I lost my first post and I'm in a hurry. We talked about sol'ns and paused. I hugged him and said that I'm not mad at him, but at the sitch. He said ok. We hugged goodbye and i told him thanks for understanding and listening. Not much emo. from him.

*I'm feeling upset b/c I feel like once again, his stuff/hobbies/going out with friends are more important than things that pertain to us/the house/our r. He hasn't done anything to the house, but neither have I. It makes me sad to think of where things are and the lack of his ILY's/messages/doing nice things, etc. Essentially, his lack of devotion. I know that things are getting better. So, why am I crying? I just want to feel important to him again. I want to feel like things are moving forward and hear it from him. I guess being at the 3 week mark, I am waiting for the other shoe to fall. Sage, you can relate, no?

**The good things:
For me it was a MAJOR 180 to not blame him for not caring about me/caring more about "his" stuff than us, etc. And for not getting extremely emotional during our convo.
For him, it was a big change for him to not get defensive and to ask what we need to do to fix it. I guess I wish he were more emo., but I'm sure that will come in time....

Patience and discipline. Thanks for reading,
Karen