This afternoon before h left from work he called to tell me that practice was cancelled and asked what I was doing. We asked if either or us had ideas. He suggested going out for ice cream. I told him I was waiting to do him.
He came home and we , fell asleep and again (more of my initiation, but I wanted him!) Then I asked what he was doing for dinner (if he had plans w/friend). He said that he didn't and that we could do something. I clarified that he didn't have to-don't want him to feel obligated. So we got up and went to dinner. He had to stop at the store to get stronger hair gel. He said that we would have time to stop at the local bar that we go to b/c another good band was going to be there & we could have a beer. We went to dinner. H was getting really frustrated with bad drivers and a slow guy with a cart in front of us. (oh well, me thinks.) Then our dinner server sucked (oh well, me thinks again.) H is not a very huffy person, so I just kind of ignore when he gets all frustrated with "stupid people" as he calls them. I say they're not going to change-there is always going to be stupid people. ??
So we go have a drink. He's affectionate. NICE! I thank him for dinner and the good luvins. He says I'm trying to kill him. I'm not really! he leaves to go meet his friend. I come home. My friend probably won't be at the bar until 11ish. I could curl up in bed, but I'm determined to go have a good time w/o him!
He doesn't know if he's racing cars tomorrow, but I plan on walking my doggies since I didn't today like I planned. (They live outside, but they love to get out of the pen.) I have to shop for Halloween stuff too, so if he races I have things to do, if not, he can come with or not. Doesn't matter to me. Guess I feel more secure when things go well. I-yes ME-feel like I could actually use a little space to myself!! what??? who said that??
It's amazing what a little acting as if and biting my tongue can do. It's worth it!! I still feel somewhat critical and mistrusting in my head, but I'm not letting it show. Hopefully, with time, it will go away! Still want to hear ILY...patience...i know...
OK, gonna go out now. I could use a coffee first...zzz... Gonna stay out LATER than him. Daylight savings-may be 3 am!
I'm not really! he leaves to go meet his friend. I come home. My friend probably won't be at the bar until 11ish. I could curl up in bed, but I'm determined to go have a good time w/o him! 
