oh, and if it is drug tests...make sure it's a good one. my sis' husband (and I think this was in regards to MJ) got busted, when normally he will take something and they don't find out. I think they did a hair test instead.
thought this was worth posting again
Quote:
I've suggested before to love him from a distance. Let go of any dependence on him to be someone he is not. Don't be fooled by his masks - when he stops the A - you will see change. Until then, nothing changes and things only get worse.
that was good.
hey, if ever exh brings the convo up again, I think you need to figure out what is it that you need for him to receive this privilege he is wanting. Is it documentation that he has gone to AA or whatever it's called...etc. what kind of proof are you wanting, because most likely, the unsupervised visits won't last forever, so decide now what it is he needs to do, and what proof he needs to have. and that this proof he will need to show to the courts
I'm sorry this is causing so much stress. I can't even imagine. you just hang in there, you can do it. Let God hold you up. and I am so glad to hear your faith strengthening. Keep focused on that, focus on Christ and being more Christ-like as well. Remember, God has control of this sitch if you have faith in him, and he will deliver you from it. There is nothing for you to worry.. I believe it's in Jeremiah (but I really have no idea) that God says you are more important that the birds whom he feeds and he knows all of our needs. Worry will not add a single hour to your life, it will do nothing but harm.
we all love you
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
oh, hey, I was watching a video Food Matters, and a professor talked about Bill W who founded AA. He said back in the 60s that he met a doctor who suggested using niacin for his depression. He said that it totally helped him and that it also helped with the alcoholism. He also gave it to many friends who were in AA and it also helped them. He tried to get AA to use vitamin therapy (niacin is B3) but they refused.
perhaps when exH is in a good mood, you could ask him if he'd ever thought about taking niacin.
the recommended dosage that was given to Bill W was 3000mg a day.
I believe and have researched a lot about this, that most problems, whether they be behavioral/mental/physical are derived from a deficiency in the body. It is mostly genetic, but when the body is lacking, depending on your genetics, you can have a predisposition to certain problems, like depression.
just a thought.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Your L said to make copies of the e-mail so I am assuming that this is legal. Copy everyone you can for custody purposes. Other than that don't bother with what he is doing unless it pertains to visitation of DD.
You are starting to detach it seems and that is a good thing. You will be much happier and less fearful as time goes on but it is imparitive for your sanity that you GAL.
Just tell yourself everyday that YOU ARE worth more than he can give you and move on. After a while it will catch on, I promise you. (Fake it till U make it)
I wish SO much for you to be happy on your own and find that peace you need.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I am assuming its somewhat legal as well. If he told me to do it I will. Honestly though when I see emails now from married gf or any other woman to him that are sexual but nothing else I just pass those by. They bore me LOL. Now the ones where he is asking for pills peak my curiosity. The sexual ones make me sick as I really believe OW was not the only woman when he and I were together. I am sure there were many more. They only confirm how there is no way I could EVER be with him again. I realize the depths of his problems and they aren't only addiction.
Missed his visit yesterday and only got one text.
St, not sure what he will do now. My best guess is he is manipulating people trying to gather enough money for an attorney.
People have tried to get him to look at his diet for so long in regards to his depression/addiction. He refuses to do anything. He really likes his lifestyle and has no desire to give it up. Why should he? It really hasn't cost him anything until now. His marriages we now know really weren't important to him. He still has his job (how I don't know..oh yeah enabling inlaws), his kids come around once a week and thats good enough. I am the only bad woman causing problems for him. LOL
"God has control of this sitch if you have faith in him, and he will deliver you from it. There is nothing for you to worry.."
Interesting you say that ST...I just met with our pastor yesterday about dedicating baby at church and we were talking and praying about my sitch. He said almost those exact words. He said SO2 I see so much anxiety in you about this. Why don't you turn it over to God and he is in control. He has brought you this far.
Today is a good day. We have our little music class which she loves and my kids are going to be home for dinner. Have to pin them down for that otherwise they are off doing other things all the time.
Thank you all!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
You sound well SO2, those e-mails are going to show a judge that H hasn't got the moral disposition to care for his children and that they shouldn't be with him unsupervised at all.
Now what ST said.... Turn it over to god and live and be happy. I gaurantee you, happiness is there and you will find it.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Not much to update. Didn't show again yesterday...but today he got his license back. A friend saw him driving. I give him 6 months before he is drinking and driving again.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I know I haven't put much in there about me as there is not much going on. Been a quiet week around here. Very low on funds so have been staying close to home as much as I can. I really need to figure something else out to earn money and hopefully stay home with baby. Childcare may be an option. Since the D I have been strapped.
Going to a little farm today with baby. Its about an hour away so it will take up most of the day. She loves animals so it should be fun.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
The farm was so fun! We both loved it. The weather was beautiful and baby had a blast.
On our way up there at 10 exh sent a text:
"Want to come asap to see baby. I have something to do at 4."
Me: Ok, We are on our way to barn, text when we get back. Exh: What! See! I never get to see her.
I started to defend myself but stopped. I took a breath and remembered I was not in the wrong. His visit time wasn't till 3 anyway and we had plans. I had planned on being home by 3.
On our way home he sent another and I said we would be home at 3. He came over for 30 minutes but barely spoke to me. He even did a few of those really deep breaths like people do when they want others to know they are not happy.
I realized he really lived in denial land thinking once he got his license back he would just swoop in and pick her up. Wow. He never texts multiple times anymore. Just what he needs to which is probably normal.
Going to be a decent weekend I hope. We have a bday party this afternoon.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
