I had a headache most of the weekend from stress, I think, so just checking in now.
Gardener,wish I could take credit for the "bunny boiler" descriptor. That came from Ali's ($!ck) brain. I have, however, taken great delight in adding it to my vocabulary, so perhaps I am a bit "off" as well.
Rabbit, thanks for your "atta girls" and the inner bunny mental image. You are right about not knowing who in your WAH's circle of friends/contacts might be supportive of M. I guess my stbxh's sister and mother are both wondering why H is D'ing me, but H is being very stubborn. He has a BMF (friend for past 30 years) who is a philanderer. I really think that my H's BMF has been a very bad influence on him. To me it says something about H (and probably his childhood trauma) that he has maintained such a tight friendship with someone who has so little integrity.
I went to the party saturday evening (the VP wasn't there but it was an interesting mix of people) with a woman who used to date my H's BMF and is still in contact with him. By comparing notes about what our men folk had said about the other's W/GF it became apparent that H and BMF withheld a fair amount of info about we women (W/GF) from each other. For example, H seemingly didn't say anything to his BMF about inviting me out to dinner for my birthday AND didn't say anything about the seductive way I was dressed. H ALSO has not told BMF about the positive interactions H and I had during the summer (H inviting himself for a beer on the patio, H accepting a dinner invitation I made to him, etc.).
Question for the men out there: Why would a man withhold this information (above) from his BMF of 30 years? .............and.........How much does your BMF's opinion influence your decisions?
so just checking in now.
