K- I am a breast cancer survivor and have been through the medical gambit with H...I did chemo, radiation, lumpectomy, and have just recently had biopsy (it came out ok) that could have led to massectomy..I got to keep my little breastie, though Anyway, what I have learned about H and medical sitches may help you..
My H felt very frightened and frustrated...couldn't say that though, wanted to appear in control and strong.....instead he often appeared very distant to me....I often felt like I had to be strong and not show any fear or weakness...it angered me at times...
I know now that because H loves me...he was very afraid...that's difficult for some men to face....he and I did have one conversation where he actually cried and said he didn't know what to do or how to really help me....that frustrated the heck out of him...
Now, what does this have to do with you? Your H seems to like to Fix things, ie. Cars. So, he (pardon me if I am wrong here) may feel the very same way...you have a medical issue right now and he can't do anything to fix it...that is both frustrating and scarey to a guy who likes to be hands on fixing stuff....but it also says he loves you... What can you do? I finally figured out that for my H information was key...I got books and pamphlets on condition from doc and let him know they were around...he read them when no one was looking LOL.... Tell him how I am feeling without losing control of emotions...HE GOT SCARED WHEN I WAS OUT OF CONTROL....he didn't know what to do when I cried or withdrew and that made him angry...so calmly telling H where I was at about things was key...
Hopefully, you are going to get through this medical sitch with flying colors! I will pray for you and check back in on you....and I know it seems like we shouldn't have to take care of them when we are sick...but that's what happens sometimes! They need our love and support more than we need theirs! LOL Go figure.....
