WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

I wound up going for a run outside. It was cold out but it was the first time I ran outside in years. It was a good feeling. No idea how far I ran but I went for about 20 minutes. It helped me clear my head.

I talked to my cousin. He really helped get my head back straight too. He reminded me of what everyone here has told me. I can not rely on others to be happy. I need to get back to being happy and strong by myself. I need to enjoy my interests outside of my boys and family. Plus he reminded me that although the situation with my WAW is crappy I still need to be happy for what I had during those years and what I still have now.

I need to look at this is the time for me. I can't let this crap drive me into a MLC. I need to get back out there to enjoy life.

I did have a great skype session with my boys. I texted her to get the boys Ono skype. She said they were still taking showers so i toldher I would wait. They got on and my 7 year old was very excited. He told me that he wrote in his weekend journal at school that he road a subway and about the museum. He had a great smile and we joked and laughed. Then my 3 year old got on and he showed me something that he "wrote" and then we did hugs and kisses.

It was great to see the boys again.

So I made it through another day so I'm now just 4 days from seeing my boys again...