Last resort technique, what to say?

[Coach]

Any tips on taking the power back?

Get a Life, who wants to hang out with a "blob"?

Set some goals

Workout, exercise, run

Pray

renew or start a hobby

play a team sport

take a class/attend lectures

embrace your feelings

Handle it.

[brknheart]

Well she came over tonight to talk about the splitting of money. We started talking about other stuff and one thing led to another and we ended up in bed. This happen a couple of weeks ago and she said this doesn't change anything. I figure the least I can do is get sex out of this situation, so im psyching myself up for this while at the same time preparing for the worst, divorce. I know it sounds weird, but if it gets me through school then I think im ok. Maybe Im setting myself up for disaster, who knows. She is ok with just having sex, I think im ok with it also, just have to make sure i dont get attached to her. I still think she is very confused, mainly because she keeps saying that she is broken and that she cannot love me anymore, thats why we cant stay married. She says that she chose to love me before, now she has no choice. I told her that everyone has control of what they want to do, she feels she doesnt. If she has so much resentment towards me, she sure didnt show it in bed. I know I cant read to much into this, cant think this may lead to something good. The good thing about tonight is I was very assertive. Other times I broke down, pleaded, etc. I told her how I felt, the good and the bad, and she actually did the same unlike previous times we have talked. I talked about what I have planned for the future. One thing she told me is that her friends and her counselor said that she has to be mean to me, I guess to make me hate her and lose the love? She said she hated doing this to me. Games, games, games. I also found out the details of the suspect OM I thought she maybe seeing, turns out it wasn't what I thought it was.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

She is ok with just having sex, I think im ok with it also, just have to make sure i dont get attached to her.

Very true. You also need to make sure you're using protection. Are you??

Puppy

[brknheart]

She is ok with just having sex, I think im ok with it also, just have to make sure i dont get attached to her.

Very true. You also need to make sure you're using protection. Are you??

Puppy

yea, i thought about that. If she got pregnant that would be a disaster...

EDIT:

Does having sex with your S have a negative effect on the Last Resort method?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

She is ok with just having sex, I think im ok with it also, just have to make sure i dont get attached to her.

Very true. You also need to make sure you're using protection. Are you??

Puppy

yea, i thought about that. If she got pregnant that would be a disaster...

Um, I was thinking more about STDs. They are very prevalent in affairs, and there've been multiple threads on this very forum about them -- and worse.

If you've had unprotected sex with someone who's been in an EA and possibly a PA, you should have yourself tested with a full-panel STD test.

Sorry.

Puppy

[Puppy Dog Tails]

EDIT:

Does having sex with your S have a negative effect on the Last Resort method?

Yes. But you can still get right back on the hors -- errr, "Get right back off the horse," I guess would be more appropriate.

Puppy

[chatterbug]

Does having sex with your S have a negative effect on the Last Resort method?

That just cracked me up..... Can it be a last resort while your getting it on ? I think not...

[brknheart]

Well, she seems to open up when we are intimate, unlike the barrier wall she puts up other times. Crap, so if I want to try to get her back, no sex. She says that she thinks that things will go back to normal if she gave me another chance. If I dont spend time with her, how can I show her I am a changed man? This is a classic case of WAWS.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Well, she seems to open up when we are intimate, unlike the barrier wall she puts up other times. Crap, so if I want to try to get her back, no sex. She says that she thinks that things will go back to normal if she gave me another chance. If I dont spend time with her, how can I show her I am a changed man? This is a classic case of WAWS.

If she is involved in an affair, what she's selling right now is NOT honesty. It's confused, gaslighting fogspeak at best, and deception at worst.

Puppy

[brknheart]

Well, she seems to open up when we are intimate, unlike the barrier wall she puts up other times. Crap, so if I want to try to get her back, no sex. She says that she thinks that things will go back to normal if she gave me another chance. If I dont spend time with her, how can I show her I am a changed man? This is a classic case of WAWS.

If she is involved in an affair, what she's selling right now is NOT honesty. It's confused, gaslighting fogspeak at best, and deception at worst.

Puppy

I dont think she is having an affair. She did admit she has more male friends now or at least shes talking to them more. She claims I didnt like/want her having male friends in the past. What she forgets is what I didnt like was her going somewhere alone with a male friend. I hang out with female friends and coworkers, but it has to be a group of us. I didnt feel comfortable going somewhere alone with a female coworker or friend.