Hi AKgal,
Thanks for the input. The reason I have told him he could chill in the liv. room is b/c of a convo. we had recently. He said that he feels like he can't do his "own thing" when we are at home together. I say, "well, i go into another room, and you follow me." He says this is b/c he thinks there is something wrong with me. SO, that's why I offered that he didn't have to stay in the kitchen with me if he needed to unwind or whatever. But, I think,now that we have had that convo. that when he is in there, I will appreciate it. He used to hug me from behind a lot when i was cooking ! I loved it! i know it will happen again someday...

When he is working on a car/project he is very focused and involved. He has an air about him where I don't feel comfortable talking to him during that time. Bring a drink or snack is a good idea.

The biggest part tho that I think you are talking about is just enjoying CASUAL time with him. I put a lot of focus on how he should entertain me. Or I think we should always be doing exciting things. But, i know what WORKS is when we have nice, pleasant, non-R convo. and get along. What LL is that? I guess it's most closely quality time, no? Well, that's the key to his happiness. He doesn't care to be complimented, and he's not big on gifts...

Things are ok these days. Yesterday I felt sick all day and just went home and cooked a simple meal. He said there was a concert he would like to see on Sunday, and I just smiled, and asked if he was going. He said, "well, I was thinking it could be a group thing with you, me and friend..." so i walked over and gave him a nice hug. But, it's sold out. before he told me about the concert I told him my cousin invited us over. So today, when he told me it was sold out, he asked if I would set something up with her & her bf. Wow!

I went to bed very tired. This morn. I called and left a vm regarding my test results. I said that I was going to send an email to him and other friends who have been concerned. He ended up calling me back while I was at the pharmacy.

Test results: I have chronic sinusitis, I MAY have Meniere's Disease (pray that I DON'T!!!), and I have a BENIGN meningioma that allegedly is NOT causing any of my probs. I am going to see an ENT on the 4th. OK, I'm scared. I didn't want to talk to H b/c I thought I would cry. But I didn't. I told him calmly. He didn't say much-but he had to get back to work. (His job is not one that he can spend time on the phone.) So, I'll cry a little now, but hang in there.

thanks for being here!
karen