OKay, for some reason the endorphines turned off tonight.
It was probably for two reasons.
First, I saw the pictures of my wife having a good time at a party.
Second, nothing tangible came from her today. No emails, no talking, nothing...
I just don't understand how my mind works. I was so upbeat yesterday adn today, until this evening. I only saw positive. I just re-read my posts and I just feel like I've done a 180 in the last hour or two. What the heck.
She didn't do anything wrong. Nothing new was said. I'm just having one of those moments where I backslide. I'm glad we didn't talk tonight, I am weak and need to build myself back up.
I know she is meeting with a mutal friend this week, and I know that mutual friend (well, 90% sure) will be supportive of saving the marriage. I think my W knows this too, yet she is meeting wtih her, which means she wants to be sure about divorce before moving forward.
arg! Why does this happen? Why can you feel so good one minute and then like crap another? This vicious rollercoaster. I find myself being teary eyed and sad now and 6 hours ago I could only see positive.
Maybe I do need anti-depresants....I don't know...
If anyone out there is reading tonight, please tell me if I am being crazy here...I am sure I am, but sometimes you just need reassurance, and for some reason, I suddenly need that.
