R2C - I know that you're exactly dead right on with the counter-intuitive stuff. What led me on my journey to discovering DB in the first place was another website I had found on saving your marriage. It said to agree completely with the person walking away. And start GALing. So that night, (8/21) I went to H and told him just that, that I agree that we will both be better off individually. He was right about things going wrong for a long time. I was excited for my future on my own, etc. Then went to bed. Next morning (8/22) was the day he broke down (first time he had/has since the Bomb) showed emotion, we ML, and then H tried for the week after that to reconnect with me - asked me to a movie, texted me, etc. I was so shocked by his immediate reaction that I thought he was under some kind of jedi mind trick or something. But then he continued texting/talking to OW on phone which I wasn't prepared for. So one morning I sent him a voicemail saying that "We are both moving on with our lives which is a good thing and that I didn't want to give him the wrong impression by accepting his invitation earlier in the week nor did I want him to think I was getting the wrong impression from him in regards to us getting back together." I thought this was counter-intuitive at the time, but I also hadn't read or discovered DBing yet. I'm sure that's where I messd up though because that was the last time, outside of my surgery weekend 3 weeks ago (where there were 2 kisses on the check and forehead and he slept in my room in bed with me albeit with a pillow in between us), that he reached out like that and then since labor day weekend has started spending even more time with OW.

Last edited by aflowergurlie; 10/20/09 01:11 AM.
Me-34 XH-33 No Kids
We were M-12Y T-15Y
5/09 Same house-separate bedrooms
01/10 I filed for D / H moved out
09/16/10 Divorced