Hey Julia, WOW.. I was shocked when I read that.. wow, could he not graciously just let you off the £50 half of the bill, EVEN if he did privately feel you 'ought' to have paid half!!???
How disgraceful is that, that he contacts you for this money??? The fact you have paid extra already for other bills is, IMHO, a bit of a red herring.. the fact he left you so brutally a year into your M for a woman he met at work and DIDNT EVEN TELL YOU THAT HIMSELF (his Dad told you, right?).. wouldnt that automatically make him just want to suck it up, any debt or inconvenience the separation may have resulted in.. and be the bigger, compassionate person and not ask you for a pilfering £50!!?? Ok, if it was £5,000, he should've asked you for it but to rub salt in your wounds.. seriously.
Also, I read that and thought.. wow, well thats his true colours, that he could be so insensitive and ..childish really. Sorry Julia, I know you M him and all, but he has really embarressed himself here.
I am glad you said no.. I only wish you had the courage to be really honest and hold the mirror up to him.. "H, after causing me so much pain and unnecessary hurt by leaving me for *ow* a year into our M..do you really feel justified in humiliating me yet again by asking for a meagre £50 toward the cost of me being forced to sell our marital home????"
But, maybe that would sound a bit 'poor me' hey and I am sure you dont want to give him that impression. Hey Julia, screw him !!!! Al xxx
(sorry! )
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
There's nothing wrong with what you did. If anything, it was too long in coming. You've helped him out of a lot of his mess, even stuff he isn't really aware of. It's time he put on the big boy pants, and took responsibility for what he has done.
Oh, I'm glad you all don't think I was over-reacting. When I read the email I was a bit stunned. I have struggled this evening with whether I did the right thing or morally did I owe him the money as it isn't in my nature to be like this but the fact he asked was just bs.
I put thought into the tack I should take in the email as I didn't want to sound like a nag or an 'I told you so' mother. I read it to a friend before I sent it and he (wanted to get a male perspective on it) said, 'there we go, that's the Jules we all know, about bloody time'
Ali, you are right about the insensitivity. My thoughts were 'yep, it is just all about you eh'. He really isn't the man I married. I just wanted to say that I wouldn't have made this gross misjudgement. He was lovely, with integrity at one time honest
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