I'm new wondering if this works...

[Day by Day]

Like you have noticed before Hope, this is all about control.

With the schedule this week, could it be that H has no control over when he has to work and is taking his frustration out on you? Are you sure he wants to take your S to his new apt? Are you usually there when H is w your S?

I agree that the unpredicatability is upsetting to S. Same in my sitch. I wanted them to be with their dad as much as possible, but I was being a doormat by being so flexible and dropping things at the last minute for him. Just tell him no for the times that it doesn't work for you and it's not part of the schedule.

quote: On top of this, H says coming over here to be with S "doesn't work for him and I need to propose alternatives or he will just go with his alternative." Then when I try to talk to him about it, and albeit it is extrememly upsetting and emotional to me, he shuts me down, starts calling me crazy and a nut job again, says he refuses to listen and will only tell me how it will be. He says "this is not the time to talk about it" yet he continues to bring up upsetting talks when he immediately has to get off the phone and refuses to set up prearranged times to negotiate these issues.

This all sounds like you are talking too long with him. Remember KISS? Don't let him see you upset either. He's pushing your buttons. With the schedule for today, I would say pick your battles. Let him see your son like planned even though it's later. It's not like he cancelled. Oh well, might be too late by now.

I'm sure others on here will give you more advice.

Oh, and it sounds like a good thing that he is delaying showing you the legal sep papers or schedule a time to discuss. He's just trying to be controlling again.

(((hugs)))