If I would not have sent the e-mail this morning when I woke up crying about how hurt I was, he would have never gotten upset or mad and would be just fine. He would get DR read it and possibly be home soon.
This is a good reason to employ the 24 or 48 hour rule (whichever works best for you). Don't immediately respond to things, especially those things that are emotionally charged. Wait, relax, and breathe. You'll find most things get smaller in importance as time goes on and the need to respond to them will disappear. If after 24 - 48 hours it is an issue that still needs your attention then more than likely your response will be more logical and less emotional.
Secondly, stop beating yourself up over all of this. Accept those things that are yours to accept and work on changing them. However do not shoulder the blame for things that are clearly not your fault.
Thirdly, at the viewing employ your best effort at acting "as if". Keep your attitude positive and interactions with him light if possible (I know it's a funeral viewing, but still).
Lastly, yes you have invested 10 years in this relationship, however recognize that if things do not work out the way you want them to you are still ONLY 27 with a lifetime ahead of you. Your H is not the only fish in the pond. There are many fish out there looking for a someone they can love and that will love them equally.
