And yes, in the past he was afraid of suggesting the "wrong" thing, but for crying out loud, it hasn't been that way in a long time! He keeps holding all of this stuff over my head.
You'll have to make changes and be consistent with them for a lot longer than you think you should have to...Also...is he really holding this "over your head"? I didn't actually get that sense. Are you holding it over his? Over your own?
Quote: Yes, I am mad. No, it won't bring me closer to him. BUt I don't feel like I should grovel!! I always end up begging for forgiveness, etc.
Hmmm...could you find a middle ground between doing nothing and grovelling and begging for forgiveness? What about a simple apology for your part of the miscommunication?
Quote: I think the best thing to do is to just let it go and as you said, dust off the "as if" hat. So, I suppose now, HE will be distant from me for a while. Should I apologize for my response to him? I dont' know what will bring us closer right now. Whenever there is an altercation, he wants space and I want to be close.
Well...as above...a simple apology with NO expectations of a return apology or an expected response. then give him the space that he wants.
Quote: Maybe by tonight it will be blown over. I feel like I am trying, but I continue to be mad at him for not being more supportive over my migraine issues. I feel lonely...
K...what if you tried to keep some of your other hurts separate?
In other words...
feeling mad over his lack of interest in your health residual anger over your feeling lonely
Those things are very separate from what happened last night (a miscommunication, some expectations and ASSumptions).
If you DB the small stuff (last night) I think you'll find more energy to address the bigger stuff.
It'll take more patience on your part then you think it should
It'll take longer for him to respond to the changes than you think it should
You'll have to make MORE changes before HE changes than you think you should
AND...most importantly of ALL...your energy is only well spent on the stuff you can control...your behavior. NOT HIS.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
