Question

[awest1217]

I agree. It is just hard right now becuase I always feel like this is all my fault. If I would not have sent the e-mail this morning when I woke up crying about how hurt I was, he would have never gotten upset or mad and would be just fine. He would get DR read it and possibly be home soon. I know deep down it is not my fault and I know that he is still planning a life with OW (according to him that changed at noon yesterday, but I can't believe that) so why am I punishing myself for him hurting me and me telling him it hurts? I don't know. I have to get prepared now for a viewing and a funeral. I hope he got some sleep and is not going to be mad at me the entire time. I really want us to work, but really I just want to be loved and taken care of, which I don't know if he will ever be able to do, which scares me because I will ahve to start over after 10 years, and have no where to start looking.