Hello, Please tell me what you make of this: I call H on my way home to let him know that I am done working. We toss around some ideas on what to do, and decide to decide when I get home. I get home, I offer several suggestions: go out to eat, see a movie, play darts or pool, go to the bookstore, get some food and go to the winery. It's too late to go to the winery, he says Tuesdays are bad for darts, he doesn't feel like seein a movie since we watched a few over the weekend. OK, then, what DO you want to do, H??? I say, you shot down my ideas, so what are yours? He says that he didn't shoot down the bookstore or playing pool; let's play pool. OK, where to eat. I make 1 suggestion and he agrees. So we go eat, convo. is ok, not tense or anything. (On the couch earlier we joked about sex and me feeding him ice cream later...) I tell him I have plans with a friend wed. and that he will probably have to fend for himself for dinner. I say that I will call him and let him know what we decide to do (dinner or not).
We go to the bar to play pool and he asks what I want to drink. I say, get me a small beer. He says he doesn't know what I mean. I mean a small draft beer, you know what kinds i like. Then he gets ALL HUFFY, I say, "it's not like you don't know what I like!" and goes off to get beer. So i ask, "why were you getting all pissy?" he says b/c he didn't think it was that difficult of a question. I said that I don't know the inventory of every bar in the areo and that I didn't think it would be that difficult to pick a beer for me. (I don't have a "usual," we just both like dark beer, and some diff. kinds, etc." He says, well that's where we don't agree. I said, "are you mad at me about something else? You don't usually react like this and you're making a big deal out of nothing." He says no, that he's not, it just rubbed him the wrong way. So, I hug him, and don't say anything else. Part. of me wants to cry b/c he like NEVER gets huffy with me like that unless we are in a fight that I started. But, I maintain, and we play. He beats me every game. he asks if I am ready to go home. I say yes, and go sit on the couch. He sat on the couch too and i put my legs across his. No words were spoken. We go to bed and read. I start to try to go to sleep. He finishes and turns off the light. I reach over to kiss him goodnight. He kisses back, but doesn't roll over to hug or snuggle. Eventually I get up and go to sleep in the other room. I went to say good-bye this morn and kissed him, laid there for a couple mins, he didn't try to hug me or anything, so i kissed him again and said goodbye.
Am I wrong for being pissed off at him??? I feel like I am trying like hell to get along and then he pulls this crap??? He never said another word about it, like sorry for over-reacting or SOMETHING!!! I have noticed that when I do become more emotionally stable for a period of time, that some of HIS emo's start coming up. Could it be he's releasing some of his anger towards me? (passive-aggressively?) Is he upset now b/c I am making plans w/o him and not waiting around every minute to be with him?
He seemed so much happier when he spent all that time away, I figured he would like to have more...
So, I am way detached right now. I don't even feel like being affectionate towards him. But, what if he asks what is wrong? If I say I am mad b/c he didn't apologize, then I won't be accepting him & being conditional. If I say, you seem like you need some space, will I sound like a victim?? What I feel like saying is, "let me know when you feel like treating me like a human being again!!" But, I don't think that that would go over too well. (victim again/blaming???) Plus I don't feel like he really cares about what is going on with my head, or at least he is not acting caring and empathetic. (although those characteristics went out the window a LONG time ago...)
Please help! K p.s. I did pray that I would forgive him for acting that way, and that God would soften H's heart towards me.
