UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Sanderika]

OK Nell,

I mirror Cas' advice.

Send H a quick (very friendly) email: "Hi there H, I would love to have your help this weekend with the sheep sh*t, thank you so much, looking forward to it.....Nell" Any variance of this will work.

Do not pester him about the "what day and time". Be ready for either day and like Cas said don't be disappointed if this ends up a "NO GO". MLC men very often say things and do not carry through. Be happy that he had the thought to help and keep hope that he will re-surface again soon. No pursueing here...

This weekend make sure you are looking and smelling fine, fine, fine....Same goes for the house!!!

Do not have expectations that H will BBQ with you. I agree you have to have a few irresistable yum-yums and frosty chasers around to offer him. Do not over do it here....this can lead to huge disappointment. Been there and done that, you know.....

Now for behavior....remind yourself of the last visit and how well it went. You need to portray that same Nell to H. Make him feel welcome and invited and be warm and friendly, be thoughtful and concerning. Engage H in his favorite topics. Compliment him for something. Don't overdo anything, it will look poured on and phony. Keep calm, cool and collected every minute. Give H a little space while he's there. Don't overdo the attention. It's ok to leave him alone to handle part of this.....he's the man, he's done this before. When it's time for him to go make sure he feels appreciated and validate his assistance in a grateful manner.

Nell, this is all about H being witness to a new and improved Nell and home. This is one of your few opportunities to let H see for himself that things have changed and he is wanted. Wanted is different from Needed. Make H feel Wanted. He needs to be comfortable and unpressured when he visits. He needs to feel appreciated and desired in a way that will make his inner self feel really good.

We have a few days to go til your visit. Let's hear all the ideas....We will all help as best we know how....

(((((Hugs)))))

Sanderika