It's hard not to obsess about EVERY word she says, every note on Facebook, etc. I wish I didn't waste my time obsessing back when this started. I also has no idea how long this would go.
Here's one suggestion. Take up a practice that forces you to give full attention to it. Something that engages your body AND mind so that you are not thinking about your sitation.
How about Karate or Kick-boxing? Maybe rock-climbing? When you are ducking that punch or reaching for the next hand-hold, you are not thinking about OM or wife. You are locked in the present moment: don't fall off the rock face, don't get your a$$ kicked by your sparring partner. Focus on that. This can help in many ways. It will cause your mind to relax, even for a few hours, it's good for your health and it will build courage and physical strength. It's not PC to talk about it, but part of your attractiveness as a male is your physical strength, mental toughness and self-confidence. Nothing like becoming a kick-a$$ warrior to make you feel less needy and reactive.
