Yes, being clingy definitely drives them away. Can you blame them?? No... I really have to keep myself in check. The biggest thing is keeping my mouth shut when I feel that way-that's the biggest and hardest 180. Another 180 is backing off and not being clingy/initiating sex ALL the time. Another is to not freak out when he is out with his friends. Another is to feel good about myself and act confident. And to be independent-being able to do my own thing w/my friends on my time too rather than wait around for when H is home/working around his schedule.
My goals are written down from a convo. with Laurie. I'll have to write those in here.
As you know, Sage, the toughest part. is NOT asking for reassurance when we want it. And for me NOT expressing every hurt/anxious/fearful feeling that I have. Well, and STOPPING my tears b/c they are so automatic!!
So if we know what WORKS, why is it so hard to DO??? Why is it so hard to QUIT doing what DOESN't work???
And my poor H has had to listen to me for going on about 4 years saying that I was going to change all of this stuff. Well, I am hoping that being here w/you all will help me change FOR REAL!! It helps me more to be here and reading the books than talking with my C. (another story.) The first book I read was "Getting Through to the Man You Love." I've also read DB and have DR but lent it out. A lot of the same principals.
