Who is this person?

[Day by Day]

Maybe Hope. I think H was manipulating D with his comment about her horse, but who knows if he will stop paying and not tell me--he's so unpredicatable. The pick up/drop off times are dealt through them but they need to know that info anyway. The kids have said they have to walk on eggshells around him and have to show him "respect" or there will be he11 to pay. Respect is a big deal with him now. I was dealing with that with words of affirmation. I've told the kids they have to respect their dad even if they feel he's being a jerk. I see it as he's feeling out of control.

I understand that NC is not to get a reaction out of H. I feel since I just started with NC, I won't be getting the full effect for myself. I'm not feeling angry or hurt with NC. I have my focus on myself. I need for the C to take more effect, my attitude to change, and the GAL & 180s to become more me. It's clicking that DB is all about changing ME.

Eventually I would like for us to start communication again, but I'm waiting for H's anger to dissipate. He needs his space to miss me and figure things out... that's what I'm giving him and not like it's punishment either. I pray for him everyday too. Great how my praying for him helps me feel better.

I will again today make sure I leave the house before he arrives and come home after he leaves. I'm not doing it out of anger. I'll know he wants to see me if he stays longer than expected or tries to get to the house before I leave.

Oh, and he told the kids he's not running as much anymore. He isn't doing the Marine Corps marathon this wknd because his MBA program is the same wknd. He is only going to train for a marathon in January. Whatever. I'm not going to mindread.