strong & patient (most days)

[dday101798]

Good, just remember to keep all your personal feelings out of anything conversation with the school. They do not want to get involved civil matters, especially those that are pre-divorce.

So, business only, what's due when? Why was this late? yadda-yadda.

Most schools also have an assignment book these days. Doesn't D9 have one? When I can, I watch that thing like a hawk as it demonstrates exactly how much interest and effort Xw puts into the kids educational needs. The moment I see one missing signature or late signature, you best believe, noted and brought up with school the next day, and thus far, it's led to me having to remind the ever so determined to win XW, she wanted residential custody, however, she's not fullfilling the requirements of the job. Not to be cruel, but so the school knows who is paying attention and who cares and isn't playing games with a young mind at stake.

Now, if you'd just start to listen about the temp custody order, I'd think you'd find your blood pressure will go way the heck down!

[mishka422]

The schools are innundated with IEP's, squabbling parents, and the like. It's very hard to get anywhere with them. Trust me, I know, but the more you stay on top of them, the better. Squeaky wheels and all that...

[karen43]

Most schools also have an assignment book these days. Doesn't D9 have one?

Both of the kids do. They don't carry them in their packs, and they are either at their schools or X's, b/c I know they're not here. When they did have them in their packs the first month, they were both blank. The kids have writing and organization issues and neither one writes stuff down!

I know about the school, will have to be a constant job to try to keep up on stuff that if I had the monday info would be so much easier. I'm thinking I would at least try to get the kids on Monday maybe through Thursday or Friday, instead of Tues. through Friday or Sat. as that would solve a lot of problems. I would copy the monday info for X as I have a copier. So maybe good this stuff is happening now anyway. I'm sure it's not going to be getting better, only worse, after the D.

[dday101798]

The kids have writing and organization issues and neither one writes stuff down!

I'm going to go wide open throttle here, and my apologies if it may sound harsh for second, but to echo your last line of your post, it will get worse because this excuse is bullarchey.

This is text book kids taking advantage of the situation. My 2, one legitamately with developmental issues, and the other just not giving a darn half the time, are taking full on advantage of the fact how things are. Which is why, again not to be mean or undermining of my XW, I am proactively all over her behind and snipe it quickly, since I was relieved of that duty by way of cusotdy.

[mishka422]

When they did have them in their packs the first month, they were both blank. The kids have writing and organization issues and neither one writes stuff down!

I completely understand this problem Karen. Marc won't write anything down either even when I've gone to his teacher and had his IEP adjusted to make him accountable for having every class signed by every teacher and then checked by his social skills teacher in his last class. He actually has to eat lunch in his social skills teacher's trailer every day after he doesn't get everything signed. He hates it but it still doesn't improve his performance. Autism sure is hard to find work arounds for.

[Yoyowife]

Karen,
Does your kids' school have a website? My school district requires us to post our lesson plans weekly on the web. I also send a paper copy to the office.

I have a suggestion. Most school districts require that lesson plans be turned in on Friday for the following week. Ask the teacher if she would make an extra copy for you and leave it in the office so that you can pick it up. This would not be any extra work on the teacher, but would give you heads up about assignments in advance. If they have multiple teachers, ask that they all be informed. Like Mishka said the squeaky wheel gets the oil. If you don't stick up for your child, who will?

[bluerain]

Hey Karen, did D9 mention any of what happened in the car to her counselor, or a teacher or friend? I also agree that your STBXH is documenting not only all of his complaints to you, but also your what he sees as your faults.

[karen43]

Blue, I don't think she's mentioned it to anyone but me. I do need to take the kids to the therapist, we've been playing phone tag & she takes lots of vacations, but I think it would be best for the kids to have someone to talk to about this esp. with the D Dec. 7th. I do think it's ironic he has probably pages and pages of my faults/weaknesses listed for court, but he thinks he's such a great parent I guess. Wish he could look at himself more, but then if he did, we prob. wouldn't be at this place anyway...

D,I will get on them about the books and try to get them to work on their assignment books. I'm thinking I might set up something where if they use them for a week straight or something, then they get a small reward or something like that.

Yoyo, I've been getting D9's homework on Fridays for the following week, so that part is still good. But wasn't getting the newsletters and project info she's been sending on Mondays. Both teachers emailed me and the homeroom teacher will give me a copy on Tues, and the math/science teacher said she had a form for guidance (?) she held back for me from the Monday packet. I will copy for H, but I think I've been missing a lot of stuff that I didn't know about as he has never shared anything with me. And probably makes him look like the most involved parent since he's been filling out all the forms and etc. Luckily I pick up D9 Tuesday through Friday afternoons and say hi to the teacher and stuff so I think they know that's not true.

X just emailed me--D9 has the flu and been throwing up and home from school! Poor thing has been sick most of the time since she started school. X has had her the past 3 days so at least he can't blame me for doing something wrong like too much activities or not enough sleep or whatever. I emailed back: as long as he's staying home from work to take care of her, that's fine (so I won't see her today though) I asked him to tell me if she's sick tomorrow so I could take care of her and take her to the dr. then.

[whatdidido]

Is D9 with you today?

[karen43]

I pick up both kids in an hour and have them (minus school) until Saturday at noon. I can't wait!!!