Hi kharvey ... and welcome to piecing. I seem to be getting a bit slow in greeting new neighbors of late with the neighborhood continuing to get bigger and all ... so many new posts ... so little time ...
Quote: Yes, my moods seem to be dependent on how H treats me. I need to feel Ok no matter what!
You're allowing H to have too much power over you. In a sense you are allowing yourself to be victimized ... you're only allowing yourself to feel good when H meets certain conditions. Its totally reactionary and the defining trait of being needy.
Think back to when you were first dating. The source of your demeanor relied from within. Being dependant on others to make you feel good would not have been an attractive trait. Time to take reclaim the power ... the control of how you feel. Strive to feel good about yourself regardless of anything your H does ... good or bad!
To build that PMA, its starts with acting "as-if" ... "fake it until you make it". Act positive, self-dependant, confident, attractive to become positive, self-dependant, confident, and attractive. What help me get started on the right foot and stay focused towards achieve this "new" me was to ask myself each morning when I woke up, "What can I do today to make it better than yesterday?" By asking it forces you to review what didn't work so well the day before, so you can formulate 180's to focus on to avoid those bad things from reoccuring.
By putting your focus on building your PMA and placing your effort on what you can do to make today a better day, will you start to change your image of what your H thinks you are.
This is a slow process and will take a long time for him to change his perspective. That because for now the bad times still outnumber the good times. By focus on making today better than yesterday, you are shifting the ratio back to where the good times will outnumber the bad, but that takes time ... any why it takes so much patience. Think each day as a brick ... take day by day ... brick by brick and eventually over time you will have a city.
Only after H senses the majority of the time he is spending with you feels good, that is when he will no longer be convinced that, things can't work out and you will see a more consistant shift away from his negative moods.
Whew! ... long winded as that was ... let me just add when looking for 180's to do ... don't forget to have more fun! Either for yourself or doing something that H might be interested joining in...
