I feel so cranky right now!! Last night I went to dinner w/my friend and we talked about having faith, and I felt refreshed and like renewing my faith. (I've fallen off the wagon big time.) So, I go home in a good mood, H seemed to be in a bad mood (just real quiet, not affectionate, not smiling). I asked him what is wrong, he says nothing. I said, you feel icky? he said kinda. So, i go to read & write and come back out to the living room and watch tv with him. We went to bed and read, and he did initiate snuggling. I really wasn't tired, and I thought maybe he needs to laugh, so I was playful and started biting him saying that I wanted a midnight snack. He laughed, and I told him that he wasn't trying hard enough to get better, so he joked back and we went to sleep.

I am trying really hard not to take his mood personally and to just believe that it is b/c he was sick (and on his days off which have been really nice-70's, sunny-unusual for Ohio ). So, I can't blame him for not being happy, but why wouldn't he say so? I'm thinking, "is he thinking about his resentment towards him & how I'm screwing up our M. Is he thinking about the sitch. w/the truck..." I have a really guilty conscience about the prob's I have created in the past 3 5/6 years. It's like can't I just QUIT this BS and get on with our lives???

Tonight I play vball. We haven't talked about the weekend yet.