Another month gone by. They are slipping faster and faster. The time when I was married seems a lifetime ago. I am still married of course, but I mean before my wife served papers and we started birdnesting. Somebody emailed me today to warn me about Where the Wild Things Are. It was one of my favorites as a little boy. This friend told me the movie verion will tear a divorced parent's heart in half. That seems a bit like shooting fish in a barrel. Had my kids this weekend. They are little sweethearts. I honestly don't know if I love my wife any more. I don't know if anyone can love somebody who is so thoroughly broken, somebody who needs other people to fix her so desperately. But my kids...
I don't think I am divorce busting anymore. Today my wife called me in the car on my way in to work. She asked about my daughter's backpack. I answered and we just stayed on the phone in silence for 2 or 3 minutes. She said something...then another couple of minutes of silence. I get the feeling she is reaching out. But she won't say anything. She wants me to rescue her again. I can't.
My heart breaks for my kids. I failed them. I don't know if I failed them in marrying her, or in not building a better relationship, or in not finding a way to get her the help that she needed. I just know that I failed them.
