Magnificent

[mishka422]

Yeah, yeah....excuses, excuses.

My plans for Saturday have gone up in smoke. It's going to be too cold (55 is way too cold to be out in the cloudy gloom for me and my gf) and my cousin is in town from FL. We're going to the state farmer's market instead. It's not quite the kilt wearing, caber tossing, bagpipe playing craziness I had planned on....but......it's something out of the house at least.

Mom has been sick for the last two days. The last time she was sick in the bed like this was the last time I had a long weekend. Do you think she times this to make sure that I have to cancel all plans (said only half sarcastically).

Marc's HS won the 'big game' tonight. They played their crosstown rivals and it's always a huge grudge match. Well....we beat them 41-14. It was a major butt-whoopin'!

First black belt pre-test tomorrow and I'm very nervous for Marc. I hope he's prepared enough.

[dday101798]

55 is too cold? Good lord, right now, after the way the last week or so has been, when it finally gets back up to above 50 even I think the beaches will be crowded!

[mishka422]

Well, this is the deep south remember!

I'm from SoCal so this cold is still a bit much for me but I'm much better about it now than I was when I first moved here. The first two winters in GA I thought I was going to be cold from October-May!

Marc passed his first pre-test! YEAH!!!!!!! He has one more pre-test on 7NOV and if he passes that then his final is on 14NOV.

[dday101798]

Well, this is the deep south remember!

LOL, so how's the frost/freeze warning this morning? see any wolly mamoths roaming around? It's the next ice age ya know. :P

[mishka422]

I had to break out the de-icer so I could see out my windows.

I hope someone can give me some insight and advice here.

This morning I received a picture text from Gabe. It was a picture of his front door with a witch hanging on it like she had crashed ino the door. His attached text said, "Kelli was flying fast on her way home." He is referencing the fact that he knows I call her 'Broomhilda". I haven't replied, but I want to...badly. It hurt me. It's like he is manipulating my emotions by opening the wounds over and over. Why? More importantly, why are the wounds still fresh enough that he can? They should be merely scars by now instead of scabbed over gouges.

The reply I had considered, which doesn't sound right at all, is "You must really enjoy rubbing my face in your happiness. I'm begging you to stop for your son's sake. Please. It hurts me."

It's a pathetic response, I know, so don't 2x4 me. Should I just ignore the text and bury the hurt, or reply in a less pathetic phrasing asking him to stop? If you suggest I reply, what should I say?

[dday101798]

IGNORE IT.

Simply, as always, if you show it hurts, then it'll just keep being dished outmore.

If you do feel the "need to respond", and actually now that I think about, maybe you should, do it in a way he wouldn't expect, like a simple "lol" or something, just to throw him off track.

Taht said, why does it hurt? Because you let it, you haven't let that go and accepted it. Neither have I and it shows, and what do I get, more and more of it rubbed in my face.

[karen43]

This morning I received a picture text from Gabe. It was a picture of his front door with a witch hanging on it like she had crashed ino the door. His attached text said, "Kelli was flying fast on her way home." He is referencing the fact that he knows I call her 'Broomhilda".

Wow, referring to the OW as a witch and texting that to you. What a sweetie he is. My first thought was you should forward it to OW....see what she thinks? But I know that dday is 100% right, best to ignore.

[kat727]

If a friend had sent it to you and made the same reference, it would probably be funny to you. The fact that Gabe did it hurts because he brought her up to you. If he doesn't get a rise, he will probably stop the stupid stuff. I would send maybe the "LOL" just to let him know that it wasn't a big deal and then move on.

hugs, kat

[mishka422]

In the end I never replied in any way. I thought if I replied with LOL it would send a message that joking with me is appropriate and welcomed. It isn't. He lost the right to joke with me. I don't do that to him. Of course, there's nothing I could send him that would add salt in any wound....he doesn't have any. He's happy has a freakin' clam and totally oblivious. First the kitten thing and now this. Oh yeah....rub it in please. Remind me over and over.....grrrrrrrr.

It's really hard to stay positive when bad things keep happening. I'm honestly scared to death that my mom isn't going to make it much longer. I was off work today, thank heavens, when my mom decided she wanted to take a shower. She fell in the tub and I had to go lift her up and out. She is too heavy for me and was nearly dead weight. It was frightening.

All afternoon all I have been able to think about is what the heck is going to happen when I'm sick and unable to get out to the store for medicine I need or if I'm non-functioning at all for a time due to a major illness. OMG, I worked myself into such a tizzy about it that I have been crying off and on. These are things I don't want to think about. I'm scared. I understand how people die and no one finds them for days or weeks because they are alone. Good grief! I can't even light the pilot light on my furnace!

Just feeling really useless and insignificant at the moment. Sorry guys.

[JCJ]

I would have fought really hard in not making a sarcastic remark about the broom - it was calling out for it! You did well with that Mishka.

I'm sorry you are not feeling so good. I hope your Mum is ok. From an outside observer, going from what you have written here you are much loved. I don't think you are going to be one of those people honestly Mishka. Plus, you would have me hauling my arse over to Georgia for a start and you don't want that now eh