Last resort technique, what to say?

[brknheart]

Well, today was first time ive seen her in about week and a half. She stopped by the house to pickup some things, she had a friend with her. I was calm, went about the project I was working on. She asked me how I was doing, I said good. I told her how my week was and ask her how hers was. She notice a couple of projects I did around the house and said the yard looks nice. She didnt stay very long, maybe 10-15min. It was easier for me than I expected. I tried to be as upbeat as I could, even laughed at something that was said. Of course I didnt say "i love you" or miss you, but she should know that I still do. Part of me feels that I lost her forever, the other part hopes that she sees that Ive changed. You see things in the movies and books on how a guy goes after the girl and wins her back. Sometimes it feels like im doing the wrong thing, but the movies never happen in real life I guess.

[brknheart]

Addition to my reply above, for some reason I cant edit it.

The car she is driving needs to be fixed. Our finances have stayed the same, same bank account. Rather then her bringing it to a mechanic and spending $$$ money on it, I want to fix it. This will benefit both of us, since I can fix it for a fraction of what a mechanic charges (I normally work on all the cars). Would this be taken as a "gift" even though I told her that I want to fix it to save money?

[chatterbug]

Let her fix her own car.
Perhaps its time to get seperate bank accounts.

You did good when you saw her. Do not back slide.

[brknheart]

Let her fix her own car.
Perhaps its time to get seperate bank accounts.

You did good when you saw her. Do not back slide.

Separating the finances right now would create a big mess and hurt whats left of the marriage even more. Do most people separate the finances during a separation?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Let her fix her own car.
Perhaps its time to get seperate bank accounts.

You did good when you saw her. Do not back slide.

AGREED on both.

Puppy

[brknheart]

Puppy,

Wouldnt this make my W even more angry at me? She asked me a month ago if we could keep things the way they are until she gets out of school in December. If I do this now, I know it will get very messy.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Puppy,

Wouldn't this make my W even more angry at me?

Yes.

It's also The Right Thing to Do, and will likely increase her RESPECT for you.

Only you can decide which is more important.

Oh, and by the way -- she'll get over it.

Puppy

[billclay18]

Puppy,

Wouldnt this make my W even more angry at me? She asked me a month ago if we could keep things the way they are until she gets out of school in December.

Yes, this will make her angry...so what? To whose benefit is it that you don't sever finances? If not yours...what are you waiting for?

What do you want...her to respect you or not be angry at you?

If I do this now, I know it will get very messy.

Separation is messy, D is messy...life is messy. The only way it won't get messy is if you cave in hoping it will affect the outcome...which it will, just not the way you want it to.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Bill said this much better than I did.

What Bill said! ^

Puppy

[brknheart]

I hear ya. I had a major breakdown today emotionally. As much as I want this marriage to be saved, I am losing hope each day. She really is being a cold, selfish, unemotional person. Who the hell is this person that I married? Thats what Ive been wondering since yesterday. Ive never laid a hand on her, I never cheated or even looked at other woman in that way, always supported her in whatever she did, always there when she needed me, etc. Seems like the nice guy always gets the shaft. I hate that she has this much power over me, making me so depressed, like a blob sometimes. I feel like the future is so uncertain. Any tips on taking the power back? Like Ive said before, its an emotional roller coaster. Last week I was feeling pretty good, the past couple of days have been rock bottom. Do they make a pill for this? I wish...