I think your H needs an attitude adjustment. He's the one who had an affair, he's the one who has moved out - more than once I take it - and he's now making demands on you and trying to put you in a now or never scenario. Ask yourself if that is how you want a reconcilliation to begin? It sounds to me like there are some control issues going on here. If you are going to allow him to move back in, think about what boundaries you want to have in place, regarding the OW, counseling, etc.
