The weekend after I spoke to Chuck, I went to see my tarot reader Virago. As I've said before, she's a former couples counselor, and that's mostly how we talk these days. I told her about the letter of release, thinking she'd approve because she gave me similar advice in June when H said he wanted to D, but I was wrong. She strongly encuraged me NOT to do this until I have more info. She asked if it's possible that H is renting the house from ow and that she isn't there at all. Of course that's possible. It doesn't explain why he'd say that he's remarried, but it's possible.
I also think that we can all safely say at this point that H is not well and that he is suffering from something beyond MLC. One FF who is a counselor and has a lot of experience with mental illness says H's behavior is in the top 5% of behaviors that indicate mental illness. Virago said she spoke with a friend who is a therapist, and she suggested something like multiple personality disorder.
It just keeps getting better, doesn't it?!
So Virago suggested a PI to get more info on H's living situation.
I also drove past his new place the other night. The garage door was open, and I saw his car and another car that I didn't recognize. I don't know what ow drives these days, and both her daughters are drving now as well. Part of me hopes that it does belong to her so I can just be done.
That car could also belong to a roommate. Part of me hopes that it does belong to someone like that so that I can...I don't know what. Just know, I guess.
This is why I need a PI. I can't spy, and I can't ask friends to spy. I want this piece of info before I proceed further. It doesn't change how H has treated me or how he has behaved, but I want this fact. I will probably still file even if he lives alone or with a roommate, but I will know the truth. In one of the meditations that I use from Wayne Dyer, he says, "I am strenghtened as I seek to make truth my personal reality." And we all know that truth sets you free.
OK, I think that's all that's been going on with me since my last post. I was out with FF the counselor on Friday night, and she said she admires that I approach this and speak of it with such a sense of adventure. I'd never thought of that before, but I guess I do, mostly because it's so unbelievable and nutty that I have to alternate crying with laughing.
Good night, dear friends. Be well. I have candles lit for all of us and toast our efforts daily.
